"How are you?"

This one question may or may not mean something to you. It is confusing to me as i am never entirely sure if they really want to know or are just using it as a casual remark. Really when people ask me how I am I just say I am okay. Really it feels like a universal response. You tell people you are okay but really you might be feeling depressed or are panicking over trying to appear like an average calm person rather than the frantic mess that you feel inside. So when someone is genuinely interested in how someone is feeling it can be often dismissed.

It is quite upsetting to me that in this world we still feel insecure about how we feel. We are too scared that someone will judge us for being an outcast, for being different that we forget that really everyone feels just like that. Everyone has their insecurities that they work hard to hide. I try and cover up any hyper activeness or mania i have for fear of being judged. Fearing the mere possibility of getting judged. Of having someone think they know me better than I do. I do not want to be told how annoying and whiny i can be as then i start freaking out that no one will like me if i have flaws. Part of me knows this is irrational but really i don't care. I'm going to accept that i am a socially awkward kid in an adults world that has utterly no clue what is going on.