Ok so as a professional procrastinator i put off writing this post for a couple of days and watched Netflix. Procrastination is a huge part of my life. Its my way of 'coping'. I distract myself hoping that all my problems will go away. Generally they don't. That does not stop me though. I know that I have stuff to do but sometimes I just want to take the easy option and to not care. Its not something I want to do. I wish that I had the motivation to do things but generally the fear of messing up stops me. That's a huge problem for me. Sometimes I am soo scared that I will mess up that i start to avoid life. For example this year in school I am doing Physics. You see I love Physics but because of college i end up missing half my classes. The fear that I will fail and that I won't be able to get a qualification out of it is a huge fear. Now I did talk to someone at my school about this but they told me not to worry about exams and to just attend it for the fun. The thing is I cannot. I cannot just not worry. I want to get National 5 in Physics. I cannot just do something for fun. I want to get something out of this. I am scared that I wont be able to keep up. That along with Chemistry, maths, I.T and college i will burn up and be an utter wreck by the end of the year. That I will push myself to hard. Ok enough on that.
You see I will stop worrying. It's one of the constants in my life. I worry so much that I distract myself with reading or playing games or watching Netflix. I know that I need to sort my life out but I do not know how. Maybe one day I will wake up and not freak out about every small detail of the day ahead. Unlikely but who knows.
Oh god spell check went insane writing this. Why must words be so hard.
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