Sunday 25 September 2016

Overthinking Life and Existential Crisis

Hi. Have you ever had a moment where you suddenly wonder what would happen if your best friend suddenly died? or if you suddenly went blind? or if you accidentally killed someone? Well I have. Whenever my head is left to wander I always end up in this crazy spiral of going over insane incidents that are likely never to happen. They leave me anxious and paranoid about everything. I have incessant needs to check all possible entry points of the room I am in and am constantly worrying about those important to me. It sends me into a nervous wreck. Now I actually have quite bad paranoia as it is. I hate having my back to a door encase someone sneaks up on me, I worry every time I leave the house that I will get attacked  and I hate it when the doorbell rings because I have no clue who is there. All of this makes me honestly surprised that I can appear somewhat functioning in everyday life let alone actually leaving the house. But these crazy psychotic wanderings in life. They scare me. To realize that I have the power of life and death. I could kill someone. I don't think I would but I could.

So am I the only person? I do not know.To be honest I may just be a crazy psychopath.

At this point you are either thinking about how relatable this is or are now thinking that i am an utter lunatic. Well yes I am an utter lunatic but I make a pretty decent cup of tea.

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